I am just so damn tired.
Tired of trying, tired of living, tired of being.
It seems as though even taking up space requires tremendous effort these days.
What happened to that lively, happy, carefree little girl?
Where did she go?
If she purposefully hiding from me?
Is she trying to teach me a lesson?
Because I UNDERSTAND!
I understand that life is hard.
And, well, it sucks.
But why cant I still be that person?
Who says I cant be happy?
Because obviously, someone is assuming that.
And I don't think I can prove them wrong by myself.
I need help.
But there's no one there anymore.
There's just an empty chair, and unfilled spot, a hole, where you once were.
You took a part of me with you when you went.
And I don't know how to get it back.
Because I am not asking for your help.
You said you were done with me.
You had had your fill.
You didn't need anything else.
You got what you wanted and left me standing there, alone.
So why do I still want you to tell me it's OK so damn badly?
Why do I need you to say it for me to finally believe it?
Why do I need you?